Why does alcohol do this? Scientifically, there are multiple explanations for this. Alcohol chemically alters the functioning of your brain, thereby basically changing you. While light, social drinking ensures these anecdotes stay fun, compulsive drinking is completely another story that AA can explain better.
However, let us stick to the science behind the fun part. Alcohol affects the frontal lobe which is responsible for your judgement, social behavior and emotion. It basically separates “intelligent” humans from their ancestors, the apes. It affects your cerebellum, which primarily ensures you do not walk / drive like a misguided missile.
Read on for some classic antics when alcohol starts its “chemical locha”
“Dude, I am not drunk at all! I can totally walk straight!” says a friend, wobbling like jelly. Sounds familiar? You bet. Down a few drinks and each one has a potli of such hilarious anecdotes. That is another reason why these parties are so much fun, at least, most times.
Love, such love
When you suddenly realize that there is so much to love, why did you keep it bottled? Let it flow (ahem). Say “I love you” to strangers. Hug all your buddies repeatedly. “You’re my best bud?” Silly grins, tears of joy, maudlin messages to your ex. Yash Chopra and K-Jo would be so proud.
The classic “Main kaha hoon?”
Your memory cells decide to go dancing. We’re all out, they shout. Oh yes, you say. You forget who you came with, you forget how much money you have, you forget how to open the door and yes, you definitely forget that you forget.
A memory-fogged, merry girl forgot where she lived and walked around in circles in the building, dizzy and giggly. Some godforsaken bit of the homo-sapien sense egged her to match the key to each apartment and voila! Cheers to not homeless tonight!
Drink In, Logic Out
Oh, this could fill a book. From telling cops they’ve parked wrong to spending an hour chewing on an eraser, this is literally limitless.
An overfull bladder and empty senses inspired a chap to unzip right at the table. Aarghh, no one asked for that. Another, decided to light up his happy buzz with a drag and bent over the gas flame with a cigarette in his mouth. The flame lit, the cigarette did not, He DID. Sigh! Just smokin’.
Gham ka saathi Rum
It’s not all “Yu hoo” though. Don’t forget the Boo-hoos. Quasi “Devdas” overwrought, tipsy guys crying buckets, bawling and howling. Add to it the apologetic one. The one who adds in fervent “I am Sorry, I am so Sorry” between the crying bouts. Umm, really? Stop drinking then!
Step Aside – I am Achilles
Warning: Alcohol shoots you … bravado shots. Consequences undetermined.
Believing you can fly, or walk on the wall sideways, or somersault thinking you are 6. It even got this chap on a Goa cruise think that feni made him Michael Phelps. So, every few minutes, hitching up his lungi, he would lunge to the other end of the boat and try to dive and swim across. The rest of the drunks were forced to rise in unison and drag him back. Such a booze-kill or was it?
No, no, now I am Hrithik Roshan
During sanity, the mirror keeps you firmly grounded. Alcohol-induced insanity says “You’re a STUD”
You swagger around showering proposals, flirting and do not even notice the response (or lack of it). Take this stud, for instance, who spent the entire evening asking every girl for her number. Next day, he woke bleary eyed with numbers scribbled all over his shirt and hands. Jackpot! Lady luck smiled. However, memory laughed loud. He couldn’t remember anyone.
The ultimate peace, nirvana – Sleeeeeep. In fact, you do not just sleep, you pass out and then you snore, loud enough to wake the dead.
Place – doesn’t matter, time – doesn’t matter, people you are with – Are there any?
Once, a heavily buzzed person stumbled to the restroom to take care of business. Being concerned when he didn’t return for almost 30 minutes, friends broke into the toilet only to find him cozily curled up like a cat right next to the commode, snoring away to oblivion. Such peace!
What do you have in your potli of crazy anecdotes? Do comment and spread the cheer.